Monday, December 27, 2010
The Story of a Girl....
This is the story of a girl.
A girl who had it all, or did she?
She tried to stay upbeat and positive throughout the ups and downs of life, keeping her smile in tact, whether it be real or fake.
She skipped through the world, trying so hard to not let the events and at times darkness envelop her.
Meeting many people on her journey, eager to pass on her smile, almost in some sort of relay, with hope that people would grab it and run with it.
Her intentions were good bur as with anyone, she would stumble upon a few road blocks that tried to bring her to a halt, she ventured on.
Not asking for much, just wishing to find happiness along the road.
Hmmm Sounds like she is one, little happy chick huh?
Wow, must be nice to have that outlook, wouldn’t you say?
Let me answer this one for you, I am that girl, and since I am, I feel like I can give you the most qualified answer.
No sadly, it is not so nice. Its not the pretty image painted in the above words.
Why? You ask.
Because those of us who give the world our happy face, kind words and silly antics are as my friend “J“says, the ones who cry alone.
Again you ask why.
Because, in all honesty nobody wants to see the happy girl crying.
Nobody wants to see her through her sadness.
Am I bitter about it? No, not at all, really.
I am trying to better acquaint you with my kind.
If the smiley people cry, those that seek their smile will find that the hope of a better day is weakened, the promise of a laugh is stalled and that seemingly perfect picture now is slightly cracked.
What I want you to know about us eternally peppy, optimistic people, is that we are human.
Maybe more so than anyone.
We bleed, we hurt, we struggle, we get angry, and yes we shed real tears.
Most of those emotions are well hidden in order to protect ourselves from pain.
If we show our true emotions all the time then we couldn’t survive and I doubt we would be very pleasant to our fellow man.
What I have found from within myself is that my happy, Stevie Wonder singing self is actually the product of hurt, pain and sadness, but to cope I truly do turn my frown upside down.
It allows me to pass on some sunshine to other people and in doing that I brighten my own spirit.
Lately I have addressed a very common misconception, something I am learned in how most folks think of and view me.
I come across as the bubbly, upbeat, carefree, long haired goofball who eats candy with Diet Pepsi and sings way off key, which translates to “the funny one”.
I do in fact do those things but there is so much more to me than being goofy. I have real fears, real moments, I am a mother, a woman and sometimes a scared little girl who wishes she had someone who could see past the humor and silly faces.
What we present to the world isn’t always totally who we are.
It is what we allow you to see. If you want to see the deeper, raw emotions you must get to know the woman behind the smile, the one who right now has a tear streaming down her face, because, well, because I can.
Get to know people, seek the answers from within, not just from what you are given on the outside.
You will walk away thinking “Wow”. I never knew the happy girl was actually a pretty deep woman way down inside.
Thank you everyone for allowing me to give you a glimpse over my wall and see a small portion of who I am when I am behind a closed door without my smile and bubbles.
Here are my thoughts.